Random Quotes

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens-and then everybody disagrees. Boris Marshalov

Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say. Everything they do.
Anonynous

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Gloria Steinem

On one issue at least, men and women agree-they both distrust women.
H.L. Mencken

He left his body to science, and science is contesting the will.
David Frost

I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.
Johnny Mercer

You can't find true affection in Hollywood because everyone does the fake affection so well.
Carrie Fisher

One of the first things schoolchildren in Texas learn is how to compose a simple declarative sentence without the word "shit" in it.
Anonymous

On Chinese food- You do not sew with a fork and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.
Henry Beard

I did not say that this meat was tough. I just said I didn't see the horse that usually stands outside.
W.C. Fields

If the soup had been as hot as the wine. If the wine had been as old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner.
Anonymous

France-The only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
Billy Wilder