Martha Stewart-Arrogance Incarnate

Let me get this out front-I don't want to conceal my biases and this really is not about her anyway, but-I really don't like Martha Stewart. I don't care that she knows how to stencil a driveway, stir-fry her own designer condoms or shellac her phone bill. If I were married to her, I would tell her to "give it a rest"-for once, woman, just sit down and shut up! Quit gluing glitter to dust bunnies or spray painting pine cones -for once, sweet Jesus, just let the inanimate objects in the house have some peace. But that is not what really makes my diastolic and systolic go into orbit-it's the attitude and arrogance of her kind-the rich, the famous, the people that think they're rich and famous, the people who think they are a big deal for whatever reason who all think that the law applies to everyone but themselves.
I have had a front row seat in the criminal justice system for almost 14 years. Most of our customers are not of Martha's ilk-they tend to be uneducated, poor and downtrodden (most always due to their own decisions) and are one small personal "disaster," (like a faulty transmission or flat tire), away from spiraling down into a self-destructive vortex of forged checks, shoplifting or selling a rock of crack cocaine. They might be lucky to get a "toehold" on being flush but it never lasts long. I'm not saying these people aren't criminals-they are and they usually catch all the punishment they are due. If they don't go to jail, most spend a lot of time on probation and a lot don't have the smidgen of self-discipline to comply with the rather rudimentary conditions that will keep them out of jail. I can't generate any malice toward these folks, in fact I have pity for a few of them who, through bad luck or stupidity or addiction or mental illness or a combination of all of the above, are constantly behind life's "eight-ball" headed for the side pocket-I understand that there will always be a percentage of folks that live from nanosecond-to-nanosecond and that my job will always be secure.


Martha's type gall me because they truly believe that the criminal law just does not apply to them. Hare dare they have to follow the same dictates that govern the great unwashed! "I don't follow the rules, I make the rules." "I will decide what I will do and when I will do it-how dare you tell me that I can't go to my Pilates class or wear that dreadful ankle bracelet." I actually had a probation violater, who was young, white and preppy, once tell a judge (after he repeatedly thumbed his nose at the conditions governing his release), that he thought the state prison was only for black people. He actually believed that! To me, there is no satisfaction greater than hearing the cell door slam on someone who presumed they were simply too important to have to conform their conduct to the law of the "common man."