Thursday, August 18, 2005


A couple of days ago, a fellow blogger posed the question: What connects you to your friends? I dashed off the first thing that came to mind:

Three things- First is passion, the second is sincerity (a/k/a honesty and being absolutely true to your word) and the third is loyalty. All my great friends have these things in common. I expect a great deal of my friends and I expect a great deal of myself as a friend. For that reason, I don't have a gaggle of friends, just a precious few-but I wouldn't trade anything for anyone of them.

I left out something that I thought of today as I traded e-mails with my buddy Scott-intelligence, wit and the ability to create humor and fun out of whole cloth. It happens about once a month that a simple e-mail between us generates a funny reply and we then spend 5 five more replies apiece in which the ante is upped again and again until the original topic is forgotten-replaced by long-winded missives that if read without context would qualify us for the loony bin. They are most always filled with inside jokes, absurdities, non-sequiters-spiced (sarcastically) with legalese and fancy prose. We have been "riffing" off the same old jokes and situations for years-each detail and embellishment is etched in the memory bank, drawn on frequently and is further embellished or more finely honed into a comic work of art.
Something similar occured over Fourth of July weekend when Jane, Vin, Brad, Kathryn and I saw a couple dining at a nearby table. The woman wore a hideous dress cut low in the back with her back toward us. She had alabaster skin exept for this huge splotch of brown caused evidently from being swabbed by a mop saturated with self-tanner. We couldn't help but to keep turning around and horselaughing because it was so obvious and by the time we got to dinner we had given them identities and life histories. Imaginary detail upon imaginary detail were piled on until we were crying. Somewhere in the mix I suggested that the man was her "Sugar Daddy" but her hideousness led me to conclude that he was a "Sugar Daddy" who only had enough money to spoil his woman with really cheap trinkets and god-awful clothes-my new term for this type individual- "Costco Sugar Daddy" brought a snort and a spray of drink out of Vin's nose. In 20 years, we'll still be talking about and embellishing the story of the couple on the dining deck.


Anonymous vin said...

You forgot to mention the frazzled hair that could have supported a family of egrets and the bad denture job!!

3:10 PM  
Blogger David Spence said...

You're right-but you must concede that the "splotch" was the topper! and how about the husband/sugar daddy who looked like a disheveled Joe Lieberman.

3:18 PM  
Anonymous vin said...

Do you think you can buy him in bulk at Costco?

7:36 AM  
Blogger David Spence said...

No-He would have to be constructed from craft store materials. I believe the man had a foam head the size of a softball and his hair was a tangled knot of tan synthetic straw of the type used to line the bottom of easter baskets. His clothing was 100% polyester and his pants were so tight you could tell his religion. If his hideous wife had dropped an ash from her cigarette on him, he would have erupted into flames and melted.

9:16 AM  
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6:38 PM  

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