Saturday, June 25, 2005

Rainy Saturday Meme

"Five things society at large enjoys, but that I, for the most part, just don't get..."

1. Oprah.- I can't for the life of me understand the mass hysteria generated by this show. What exactly is her talent? She can't sing, dance, or play a musical instrument or tell a joke for that matter. How do you get paid a bazillion dollars just to cry along with someone who has lost a child? She makes Katie Couric seem as deep and intellectual as Descartes.


2. The Nightly News with (Insert Anchor Here)The 6:30 (EST) newscasts are the broadcasting equivalent as the Nash Rambler. There is not one iota of "news" on these broadcasts that folks with half a brain and an computer modem haven't already heard and digested. It is pablum for the masses. Unlike the "salad days" when Uncle Walter had the power to stop a war by reporting an Amercian military victory as a resounding defeat, now every word uttered or assertion made can be refuted or corroborated by a thousand bloggers who actually have expertise in the field unlike the journalists covering the event who generally have none. Bias runs rampant on both sides of the political spectrum and is employed with impunity. Here's a challenge-give me 30 minutes of prime time at the dinner hour for a month and I will have you believing anything I want you to believe. Here's a fair and balanced idea-Have every network reporter wear a campaign button for whom they voted in the last presidentioal election so that will be out front before they spout their opinions. Not that it's not painfully obvious anyway.


3. Hip-Hop and Rap- When we were kids our parents told us that rock-and -roll was the "Devil's Music," and maybe it was--but at least it was freakin' music. This shit is devoid of every aspect of music except one-rythym-of which it has a buttload. No melody, no lyrics unless you count the "rhyme at all costs whether it makes sense" or not as lyrical and no harmonic structure whatsoever. Not only does it suck, but the overhead must be staggering- One or two dudes or dudettes up front doing the heavy shouting and a hundred background homies spinning the LP's backwards to make funny sounds or simply dry humping the mic stands to the "beat." Twenty ho's pretending to sing background vocals to songs with no vocals and twenty more denuded male crotch-grabbers pretending to be dancers. Insufferable can't even begin to describe this horseshit.



4. Kenny (F....ing) Chesney- If there is a more cloying, irritating, no talent poseur on this orb, I'll be damned. Proves the point that if you are completely devoid of self-respect and shame, you can go a long way in this life. No shirt, No shoes, No talent, No Shame.....No Problem. Renee Zellweger-What the Hell were you drinking?






5. Britney Spears- I swear to God I can't see the public's interest in this dome-drink swilling dullard. And please pray for the little gutter snipe that springs from her loins onto the pages of every tabloid for the rest of his or her life. She's dumber than a box of hair and in a year she'll be so fat it'll take two dogs to bark at her.

4 Comments:

Blogger jules said...

ROFLMAO!

2:19 PM  
Blogger Army Wife said...

I loathe the same things you have on your list. Especially Kenny Chesney...no chin, cowboy hat, beach necklace wearing blech....

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with all but come on Oprah is a genereous humanitarian trying to bring a positive spin to tv

10:42 AM  
Anonymous rebecca said...

the whole Britney thing proves once a redneck, always a redneck... mind, body and soul.

9:26 PM  

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