Monday, January 31, 2005

Fourth of July Hot Dog

New Car Feature-The Trunk Monkey

Kayak lessons at the Pool, Anyone?

Field Sobriety Tests

Bad Start

National Anthem- Rough start, strong finish

The guy who comes to the rescue is former NBA great, Maurice Cheeks!

Funny Cats!

Read the tag closely- Oh yea, the name of the vehicle also comes into play! Posted by Hello

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Jason- This is for you!- Pork ribs with Stubb's Bar-be-Que sauce slow-cooked in the crockpot. You can't see it in the photo, but there is steam wafting up from the bowl, filling the immediate area with the odor of smoked porcine. Posted by Hello

Wood handle spinning rod for Dale Earnhart, Jr. fan-Jeff Purdy Posted by Hello

Official Cause of Death-Embarrassment Posted by Hello

The Ultimate "Head-Shop" Posted by Hello

Exactly how I feel-Even without the snow Posted by Hello

This and the above-photo are from Jim at Check out his great blog-I will link it on the sidebar.

Great Site for Those (Like Me) Who Despise "Celebrities"

Lucky Cat! Posted by Hello
This from Christina at A great site that is linked on the sidebar.


North Carolina Jokes

Clubbing in NY

Legal humor

Funny Things That Have Been Said In Court
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.

From a defendant representing himself..
Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?
Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse
Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.

Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?
Defendant: No, sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.

Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?
Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.
Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.
Juror: That's not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth too.

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.

Lawyer : Tell us about the fight.
Witness: I didn't see no fight.
Lawyer : Well, tell us what you did see.
Witness: I went to a dance at the Turner house, and as the men swung around and changed partners, they would slap each other, and one fellow hit harder than the other one liked, and so the other one hit back and somebody pulled a knife and someone else drew a six-shooter and another guy came up with a rifle that had been hidden under a bed, and the air was filled with yelling and smoke and bullets.
Lawyer: You, too were shot in the fracas?
Witness: No sir, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.
Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?
Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.

Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.
Defendant: Colonel Ebenezer Jackson.
Judge: What does the "Colonel" stand for?
Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the "Honorable" in front of your name. Not a damn thing.

Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense?Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?

Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the court?
Judge: Of course.
Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?
Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional five days in jail.
Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?
Judge: I can't do anything about that. There's no law against thinking.
Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.

Q. : What is your brother-in-law's name?
A. : Borofkin.
Q. : What's his first name?
A. : I can't remember.
Q. : He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?
A. : No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell them your first name!

Q. : Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. : I refuse to answer that question.
Q. : Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. : I refuse to answer that question.
Q. : Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. : No.

Q. : Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A. : By death.
Q. : And by whose death was it terminated?

Q. : What is your name?
A. : Ernestine McDowell.
Q. : And what is your marital status?
A. : Fair.

Q. : Are you married?
A. : No, I'm divorced.
Q. : And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. : A lot of things I didn't know about.

Q. : And who is this person you are speaking of?
A. : My ex-widow said it.

Q. : Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. : I will be three months November 8th.
Q. : Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. : Yes
Q. : What were you and your husband doing at that time?

Q. : Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
A. : I should be.
Q. : How many times have you committed suicide?
A. : Four times.

Q. : Were you acquainted with the defendant?
A. : Yes, sir.
Q. : Before or after he died?

Q. : Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
A. : Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.

Q. : What happened then?
A. : He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q. : Did he kill you?
A. : No.

Q. : Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. : No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

Q. : And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?
A. : Oral.
Q. : How old are you?
A. : Oral.

Q. : Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q. : The youngest son, the 20-year-old--how old is he?

Q. : Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q. : Were you alone or by yourself?

Q. : Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q. : How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collission?

Q. : You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q. : She had three children, right?
A. : Yes
Q. : How many were boys?
A. : None
Q. : Were there any girls?

Q. : You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A. : Yes
Q. : And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q. : Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A. : Yes
Q. : And you took your wife?

Q. : Can you describe the individual?
A. : He was about medium height and he had a beard.
Q. : Was this a male or a female?

Q. : Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. : All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Q. : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A. : The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
Q. : And was Mr. Dennington dead at the time?
A. : No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q. : Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A. : I have been since early childhood.

Q. : Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. : No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Q. : How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
A. : Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.

Q. : What happened then?
A. : He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q. : Did he kill you?
A. : No.
Q. : Did he pick the dog up by the ears ?
A. : No.
Q. : What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. : Picking them up in the air.Q. : Where was the dog at this time?
A. : Attached to the ears.

Q. : When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station ?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

Q. : What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
A. : She is my daughter.
Q. : Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Q. : Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?

Q. : Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A. : He didn't offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.

Q. : So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp ?
A. : I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q. : It was covered ?
A. : Yes, bandaged.
Q. : Then, later on...what did you see?
A. : I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

Q. : Could you see him from where you were standing?
A. : I could see his head.
Q. : And where was his head?
A. : Just above his shoulders.

Q. : Do you drink when you're on duty?
A. : I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

Q. : ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A. : The victim lived.

Q. : Are you sexually active?
A. : No, I just lie there.

Q. : What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A. : It indicates intercourse.
Q. : Male sperm?
A. : That is the only kind I know.

Q. : Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
A. : I have only one, you know.

Q. : Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q. : So you were gone until you returned?

Q. : You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
Q. : Have you lived in this town all your life?
A. : Not yet.

Tourette's Weather Forecast

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Daniel Medley gives pop-culture a well deserved boot in the ass

Purveyors Of A Disposable Culture
I always find it interesting how popular culture feeds upon itself in the sense that many of the purveyors of popular culture try to create popular culture.
At first glance I know that what I just said does not make sense but here is what I mean.
It’s an article telling everyone how much everyone loves Amber Frey.
Oh, really?
I would venture a guess that a more accurate assessment would be that a vast majority of people couldn’t care less about Amber Frey.
Including me.
The purveyors of popular culture do this all the time with fashion, music, film, and literature. Something is all the rave simply because we’re told it’s all the rave.
Another example is Paris Hilton. Why the hell is she so famous? Before the clandestine video of her getting pounded like a raw pork chop by an ex dreck of a boyfriend, she was mostly famous for being, well, famous. She apparently has no discernable talent other than showing her belly button, holding a stupid little dog and getting pounded like a raw pork chop.
I think this is one of the reasons why many fads are so short-lived anymore. Instead of filling a market, popular culture tries to create the market.
Ashleigh Simpson is another prime example of this. She is completely without talent in regards to the profession for which so many have used tons of ink trying to convince the world that she indeed does have talent. Now Ashleigh Simpson is most famous for the fact that she has no talent.
Okay, I’m confusing even myself.
The bottom line is that five years from now it’s rather doubtful that most of the so called popular culture icons will even be remembered.
If someone even bothers to mention Ashleigh, Britney, Paris, Amber, Eminem, pick your icon, they will most likely be hit with the response of, “huh”?
I suppose that it’s always been that way to some degree but it just seems that as of late it’s gotten more disposable.
Yeah, that’s it, a “disposable culture”.

He is at Link provided on the sidebar.

Neat US Geography quiz

5 question quiz

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between threerooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full ofassassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go outtogether and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

Hat tip to Acidman at

Jason, Rachel, Jeff and Amy-Ya'll will be staying here

Unit 339-Dunescape Villas, Atlantic Beach, NC- This is your lodging for your visit to my 50th birthday party! Cobia fishing will be at its peak. Spanish will be here in big numbers and big drum around the jetties and smaller ones back in the marsh.

New rod Posted by Hello

This is so "purty," I hate to give it up-but it's sold!

Decal- Spotted Seatrout Posted by Hello

Bells' Creek Posted by Hello

Rod Handle Posted by Hello

Reel Seat Posted by Hello

New rod Posted by Hello

New rod Posted by Hello

New Rod Posted by Hello

Jokes FOR Women

Unbelievable Real Article from 1955 Issue of Housekeeping Monthly

This thing was published 3 days after I was born. This makes June Cleaver look like Gloria Steinem!

Potential Generic Viagra Names-Possible adult content!

A Squirrel After My Own Heart-Get it in Ya

Heathrow Airport Gag

I forgot how damn funny this was. Some R-rated language used.

Music Recommendations

East Nashville Skyline-Todd Snider

Near Truths and Hotel Rooms: Live- Todd Snider

Girl from Arkansas-Rod Picott

Stray Dogs-Rod Picott

Tiger Tom Dixon's Blues-Rod Picott

The Jealous Kind-Chris Knight

Soul Journey-Gillian Welch

Tambourine-Tift Merritt

Under the Table and Above the Sun-Reckless Kelly

Reckless Kelly-Live at Stubb's Barbeque

Cross Canadian Ragweed-Live at Billy Bob's

Ain't in it for the Money-Mickey and the Motorcars

Book Recommendations

These are highly recommended:

Blink-The Power of Thinking Without Thinking-Malcolm Gladwell

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now-Gordon Livingstone, MD

Notes of a Nervous Man-James Lileks

The Gallery of Regrettable Food-James Lileks

Interior Desecrations-Hideous Homes from the Horrible 70's-James Lileks

The Book of Poisonous Quotes-Colin Jarman

Cold weather-Great time to build some rods

Full view Posted by Hello

I finished three rods tonight- One is still upstairs turning and drying-it is for a customer. These two are for me, at least till someone wants to pay me for them. This handle is made of English Walnut and the photos don't do it justice. The yellow and orange colored one is made from English Yew. I've got two more to crank out tomorrow- a fly rod and a spinning rod and I'm trying to decide what type wood to use. Cold and windy here at the coast-spring can't get here fast enough.

Guide with inlay Posted by Hello

Foregrip and fade wrap Posted by Hello

Detailed look at reel seat Posted by Hello

Handle and reel seat-all English Walnut Posted by Hello

English Walnut Handle Posted by Hello

Chevron fade wrap Posted by Hello

Reel Seat, Rear grip and foregrip Posted by Hello

New rod- split grip Posted by Hello

New rod-Marble effect Posted by Hello