New Home Defense System
Use your household furnishings to ward off the bad guys!
This is actually from England-Here is the pitch:
"It is reported that 50% of people in London are worried about security and sleep with some form of self-defence to hand, for use against intruders.
The 'Safe Bedside Table' has a removable leg that acts as a club and a top that doubles as a shield for self-defence. This is for people who are willing to take on an intruder, providing an extra sense of security whilst in bed."