Thursday, September 15, 2005

Senate Windbags

God I hate these pontificating gasbags-every single one of every single party. It's always about them-never mind the nominee or witness. They are uniformly insufferable megalomaniacs. If you drag someone up there to testify, for godsake let them speak. Who give a rat's ass what you think about the state of the world?

Jonah Goldberg captures perfectly the typical Joe Biden screed-the way he "holds forth," not only in these hearings but on every Sunday political show. It is priceless:

"The man loves his voice so much, you'd expect him to be following it around in a grey Buick, in defiance of restraining order, as it walks home from school. He seems to think his teeth are some kind of hypnotic punctuation marks which can momentarily disorient the listener and absolve him from any of Western civilization's usual imperatives to stop talking. Listening to him speechify is like playing an intellectual game of whack-a-mole where every now and then the fuzzy head of a good point pops up from the tundra but before you can pin it down, he starts talking about how he went to the store and saw a squirrel on the way and it was brown which brings to mind Brown V. Board of Ed which most people don't understand because [TEETH FLASH] he taught Brown in his law school course and [TEETH FLASH] Mr. Chairman I'm going to get right to it and besides these aren't the droids you're looking for...."

I would give my eye teeth to be able to capture this observation so beautifully.


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