Not So Smart-How to Tell Them Nicely

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Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
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A few clowns short of a circus.
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An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
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The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
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His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
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All foam, no beer.
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Has an IQ of 2 but... it takes 3 to grunt.
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His skylight leaks a little.
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Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
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As smart as bait.
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Chimney’s clogged.
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The cheese slid off his cracker.
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Sharp as a bag of wet mice.
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Her sewing machine’s out of thread.
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His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.
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Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
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If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
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Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
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Too much yardage between the goal posts.
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Few fries short of a happy meal.
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In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
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Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn’t watching.
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Room temperature IQ.
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A few peas short of a casserole.
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A few beers short of a six-pack.
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Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
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Gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than a ordinary ignoramus.
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A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
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His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
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A prime candidate for natural deselection.
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Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
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Bright as Alaska in December.
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One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
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Forgot to pay his brain bill.
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Fell out of the family tree.
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Arms are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
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Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box.
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One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
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One taco short of a combination plate.
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So dense, light bends around him.
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His receiver is off the hook.
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If brains were taxed, he’d get a rebate.
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If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
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Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
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If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
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It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
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One neuron short of a synapse.
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Fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
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Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he gargled.